We set out at dawn in three canoes, with a lizardfolk scout named Snapjaw as our guide. We were portaging our way through the swamp on foot when Snapjaw suddenly froze, seeming to sense an unseen adversary. As we scrambled for positions of tactical advantage, a hideous swamp thing reared up beside me. Our fellowship surrounded the shambling mound, and together we mowed it down to mulch in a moment. Snapjaw was clearly thrilled by our martial prowess.
As we continued onward, our lizardfriend grew chatty, lamenting in broken Common about his Scaly Death tribe’s shameful allegiance with the bullywug battalion of Chieftain Pharblex Splattergoo. Evidently, Snapjaw and his Scaly Death lizardfellows long to lash out against Pharblex’s frogmen. Jorad suggested an alliance between our Cuntfellows and his scaly tribe in confronting Pharblex and the Cult, but Snapjaw was noncommittal.
We had abandoned our canoes, and were walking on firm but muddy ground when suddenly the earth began to pull down upon our feet, as Snapjaw had clumsily lead us into a quagmire. Beshaba smiled upon Tegan and Brick, who nimbly avoided the natural trap, but Black Bess sought to test the rest of our group, myself included. Tiny Tolarin disappeared from view instantly, and Gunx had sunk down to his tits, while shamefaced Snapjaw, Jorad, and I were stuck in knee-deep. We five companions were sinking at an alarming pace.
I Misty Stepped out of the mire, and searched for a long branch to assist my foundering companions. Tegan flung his bedroll out to Jorad, but the warlock slipped under the muck. Brick dove in after Tolarin, a rope tied around his waist and anchored to a tree, as I fished around with my stick for Gunx. Snapjaw scrambled free, and tried to help Tegan rescue Jorad. I felt Gunx grab hold, and with all my might, I began to slowly haul him up.
Suddenly, an enormous crocodile latched onto me with its powerful bite, and in return earned an instant Hellish Rebuke, a blast of Burning Hands, and a quick death. Another croc attacked Snapjaw, while Tegan blasted a third with a Thunderwave. Brick emerged from the mire with Tolarin, while I kept trying to pull Gunx out. Together, Brick and Tolarin hurled javelin and darts to kill the remaining crocs, and finally, we pulled Gunx and Jorad out to safety.
Exhausted, we stopped for the night on the driest bit of ground we could find. Snapjaw, impressed with our actions and embarrassed by his own failures, treats our group, and most especially Brick, with obvious admiration. Blessed Beshaba, in this moment of respite as we set up camp, I find solace in knowing that the mire and the crocodiles were manifestations of your ominous presence, and it is through your divine grace that I have emerged stronger and more resolute. May I continue to walk the path of adversity with unwavering faith, embracing the challenges that lie ahead, klaatu barada nikto amen.