Owlbear Lodge (to Taylor Swift’s Our Song)

Cunts  ridin’ donkey cart, Midsommer’d come undone

Owl Bear Lodge only so far

I’ve got one foot in on that Lemon girl feel

The other on my heart

I look around, time for perception checks

Doomspawn, “Tolarin, hold it down!”

T says, “Clearly, I see this thing is undead and is all wrong”

And we say

Undead, and our stealth is quite poor

Brick being strong, Jorad’s spell like, oh no

Gunx charging in wrong, and he kills it slow

Now it’s late, marchin’ where we don’t know

Porcupine, twice as large by two half

The first look, wooden building and doors, not seeing the “grav”

Tolarin sneaks up, and he says “Oh, man”

Asking DM if he’ll play it again

Jorad walkin’ up, front steps after everything that day

Undead eagle something gobbled on

Hall is dark, not okay

Moving forward, eagle on the table ahead

Cunts not seeing what that evil opposes

Jorad making it dead!

Owlbear shuffling sound ‘hind that door

Tapestry trait, eldritch blast ’til it goes

In dungeon, Brick, off to slay

The fire place, “didn’t kill them but I should have”

Doomspawn re’frenced tomes,  “Be Shaba when”

Asking  to kill the giant white ferret then

Brick saves you, makes sure you know

I’ve tried every check, never made it and you know

Waiting for someone to come along

Life close to as good as our song

My song, dancin’ through the broken door

‘Venturing late, trapped where do we go

Cunt song is the way that we laugh

Our adventure, in Lodge, and we talk real slow

‘Cause it’s late, and that fist slam it don’t know

Way I die,  tentacles grasp,

Take them down, “Couldn’t save Lucy, but I should have”

Tolarin moves, but not too fast,

Gunx showin’ doors how he kicks their ass,

Doomspawn, at the privy lighting match

Horg in bed, lying still, breathing slow,

Brick premeditates, Horg’s skull will never know

Jorad succeeds, checking the chest,

Undead falls, now I’m wondering about that hatch

Oh, yeah

Oh, oh yeah

Poker game, that’s over now,

Tolarin’s grey, Lemon hoping we can help somehow,

Cunts heading for the cellar hatch

Spores fill the air as breath starts to catch

Mushroom puncher, holy shit how did that work?

Gunx doesn’t know, Doomspawn ensured we wont’ be dead

Grabbed my pen and Lodge flyer

Wrote our song down on my lyre